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this is a beautiful, complicated world we live in, with beautiful people of all kinds of skin colors, religions, philosophies, languages, orientations, cultures... it makes me sad that some people don't see the beauty that exists in these differences, and more than sad that others see these differences through a prism of indifference, or worse, through fear. in the hands of someone with power, this fear can have truly devastating consequences, as we have learned too many times.

add to this fear a measure of impunity on the side of the powerful, and we are left with the situation we have today in this country. i truly hope that someday we can embrace differences for what they are: an opportunity to learn, an opportunity to see life from a different perspective. different is not dangerous, or scary, or strange, it's a blessing.

lazy sundays

lazy sundays are the best. scratch that. lazy weekends are the best. you know, the kind where you stay up as late as you want watching whatever trash tv you want because you can sleep in as late as you want the next day. the kind where you change out of your pajamas into sweatpants and a sweatshirt. the kind where you only scrape yourself off the couch to get the next round of snack food.

while these weekends are a treat, they really shouldn't happen all that often. one can only handle so much laziness. at least for me, i don't think it's physically possible to maintain this kind of extreme laziness more than a day or 2 before i start going a little crazy. but those rare, lazy weekends, they're the best.

and in case you're wondering, yes, this has been a wonderful, lazy weekend.

New Year's... Resolution? Goal? Whatever.

i didn't want to have any lofty new year's resolutions this year because, you know, LAZY.

but in all seriousness, i have started to think that new year's resolutions are a bit silly - if you have to RESOLVE to do something, it means you don't really want to do it but you are going to force yourself to do it as long as you can do it until you just can't do it anymore.  instead, it seems like you should find things that you WANT to truly incorporate into your life - like being healthy (rather than losing weight) - and find a way to meld it into your lifestyle so it becomes sustainable.

with that in mind, i decided that this year, i really wanted to increase the number of recipes/meals/dishes in my retinue.  the obvious goal of this is so that i can come home from work and, rather than making what i always make for dinner, i have a stockpile of go-to things to cook.  it will also help in the save-money-by-bringing-lunch-to-work way.  at first i thought i would try to make 1 new dish every week, but this goal seemed like it would be impossible to keep up with due to travel, ennui, etc. so instead i decided that i am going to try to make 50 new dishes at some point this year.  i could make a new dish every day until the end of february to meet this goal, or i could make one per week.

so here goes.  my list of 50 new dishes:

1. butternut squash soup (real simple cookbook) - slightly time consuming to make, but worth it! super delicious. only downside: a tad too much salt is called for in the recipe.
2. pulled pork - SO FRIGGIN GOOD. and easy peasy too! only recommendation is to be generous with the sweet baby rays. oh, and potato roll buns. nom nom nom
3. Not sure if this counts (but i'm counting it, because this is MY BLOG mwahahaha), but I made hash browns from scratch for the first time.  my 1st attempt was a bit soggy in the middle, but attempt #2 (less oil, less time cooking potatoes, more time frying outsides of the patties) was much improved!
4. crock pot whole chicken - the smell of this cooking all day made me SO HUNGRY, but the chicken, while super juicy, was not as flavorful as i hoped it would be.  if i make it again, i'll probably try some variations to make it taste more exciting... if you have any suggestions, leave them in the comments!
5. crispy cajun shrimp fettuccini - so. darn. good. despite a few preparation mishaps: mishap #1. i forgot to fry the shrimp in the cajun spice. i just slapped some flour on them and plopped them into the pan. when i realized my mistake, i just dumped all the cajun spice into the sauce mix. mishap #2. i used evaporated milk instead of heavy cream (trying to save calories), and the sauce was pretty runny.  i saved this by adding a bit of corn starch to thicken it up. not-really-a-mishap-but-something-i-will-do-differently-next-time #3. i bought frozen, unpeeled shrimp. not a huge deal, i just had to boil the shrimp so i could peel them before i could fry them, which took a little while.  anyway, this recipe was delicious and relatively easy.  if you want the recipe, let me know (i don't have a link for it)!
6. cheeseburger soup - although this recipe appears to have been in my family for quite some time, *i* only just learned of its wonderfully magical existence.  it is delicious! it's also pretty easy to make/forgiving of mistakes (of which, i may have made one or two). the only thing i might do differently is puree all the ingredients except for the ground beef. but this is only because granger and i generally prefer smooth soups over chunky ones.
7. sweet potato fries - this is another one that is a stretch to count, but whatever... i'd been making them on the stove, rather than in the oven, until i learned the error of my ways. from now on, sweet potato fries made by yours truly will be baked in the oven with a little olive oil, paprika, and salt.
8. mushroom and spinach quiche - super easy to make, although i had to cook it quite a bit longer than the recipe calls for (maybe even 2x as long). that meant i didn't eat until after 8pm, so i was close to HANGRY and kinda just stuffed my face as soon as it was ready.
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musings on wanderlust: chasing a feeling

i started writing the following post on one of my last days in hong kong, but i didn't finish it before leaving... so here it is now: 

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i've been in hong kong for a month now, but as of yesterday afternoon (7/31) everyone who was here with me has left... gone home or traveling somewhere else.  the alone time has given me some time to think, not only about my experience here but about international travel in general.

after a month here, i am more than ready to be home.  i miss granger, my family, sadie. i miss my friends. i miss my apartment and the simplicity of life-at-home: not having to figure out what/where/when you're going to eat, making coffee just the way you like it, etc... it's the small stuff like that that makes a place home. but now that my time in asia is nearly over, i can't escape this feeling of sadness.  or nostalgia, maybe?  i'm not sure how to describe it, really.  it's the sadness of leaving a place.  this feeling is familiar to me; i feel it each time i leave a place. the more i think about it, though, the more i wonder why: why do i feel nostalgic about a place i've known for only 1 month? or in some cases, only 1 week.  what is it about a place (and with the exception of hawaii, they're always outside-of-the-US places) that makes me start to miss it before i even leave?

to start, this place-that-is-not-my-home has been my home for a month now.  and i don't mean my hotel room.  i mean the city itself.  i've become comfortable here.  i know my way around.  i know a bit about the history, the people, the food, the customs.  i'm nowhere near an expert, but i'm not a novice anymore either.  this city, like all the foreign places i visit, is no longer a mystery to me.  it's no longer a place i only know from pictures, stories, or descriptions.  i've been here.  i've seen it, heard it, felt it, tasted it.  i know it.

for me, that is the allure of travel.  not being able to say that i have been to this country or that city.  it's not about seeing the famous sights or buying tchotchkes that will collect dust on my shelf at home later on.  it's about getting to know a place.  really getting a feel for it.  navigating side streets.  getting lost.  finding local restaurants, cafes, markets.  in the month that i've been here in hong kong, i have started this getting-to-know-it process.  and when i go home, i won't be able to see it anymore. or hear it, feel it, taste it.  i think that is where this nostalgia, this sadness, comes from.  i'm already starting to miss this city that i'm just starting to explore.

the beauty of traveling, especially when you can really get to know a place, is that years later you could be walking down the streets of your hometown and you experience something that instantly takes you back to... somewhere.  whatever it is you experience - a sight, a sound, a smell - suddenly you're not walking down the streets of dc, you're in zambia, spain, brazil. it is this kind of deep connection to a new place that i seek every time i step off a plane.  it's the reason i purchase the airplane tickets, reserve the hotel rooms, endure the long flights, fumble through customs, and suffer through jet lag.  i want to see it, hear it, feel it, taste it, know it.  i want to understand it.  and when i have to leave, i will miss it.

Hong Kong (days 1-5)

i arrived in hong kong in the early afternoon of tuesday, july 2 after a 15+ hour flight from toronto (dc --> toronto --> hong kong).  kelsey (my coworker, the current director of the program) was waiting for me outside of the immigration and baggage claim area.  immigration in hong kong seems to be mostly in name only - i've never seen an immigration form shorter than hong kong's and the line out of the immigration area went quickly.

once we got to the hotel and i settled in, kelsey and i walked around downtown hong kong and eventually ended up at a sushi restaurant for dinner.  i love sushi, and this was particularly good sushi.  the restaurant is set up so that you are sitting at a bar that has a conveyor belt of sushi passing in front of you - you simply take what you want and then they add up the cost of what you selected at the end.  kelsey and i decided we were too lazy to wait for what we wanted to come around the belt (no, it wasn't slow, we were just both jet-lagged and exhausted), so we just ordered what we wanted and then shared the rolls that came.  after that we went back to the hotel and i struggled to stay awake as long as i could so that i could (hopefully!!!) sleep through the night.  my hard work paid off, and while i did wake up a few times during the night each time i was able to fall asleep quickly.  i slept all the way until 6:15am

Hong Kong is an interesting city - I pictured it being an entirely bright, shiny, new city, and while parts of it are just that, other parts of it are just... normal.  Don't know why that surprised me as much as it did.  The city is also built on very steep hills which means that what looks like an easy block-long walk on a map is actually a hike up a nearly vertical cliff (at least that's how it feels once you get to the top).  There are actually, in the steeper areas, escalators that people can ride up instead of walking up steps.  Hills or not, though, the streets are always bustling, people (tiny people!!) are everywhere.  On the whole, I like it, but it can be a little overwhelming.  As for pictures, mom, go to my facebook page and you will see 2 pictures of the view from my hotel room.  I'll add more pictures to that album, so just check there.

As for the program, most of the students arrived yesterday for the orientation and a handful of stragglers will be arriving in the next couple of days.  Today (Saturday) we have the opening ceremony, which is apparently a lecture about HK's history and how it became this commercial hub.  Tomorrow (Sunday) is the tour of Hong Kong - we'll head up to Victoria Peak (google that for pictures, the view is apparently amazing) and then take a bus tour of the city.  Monday is the start of classes (dun dun dunnnnn).  Tuesday is more classes, but in the afternoon/evening Kelsey, Andy (the economics professor), and I are taking Bill Hybl (big wig at TFAS, also done some other big stuff but I can't remember what at the moment) to Macau.  Macau should be interesting, but from what I can gather it's just a smaller version of Las Vegas, so...  Eh, we'll see, I shouldn't judge it before I go there.

random facts

a few years ago there was a relatively short-lived fad on facebook where everyone wrote "25 random things about me" lists.  i did one too, and even though i thought my list was kind of lame at the time, i recently reread it and it was kind of fun to remember what i had written.  so i'm going to try to do another one now, although no guarantees that i'll actually be able to make it to 25...

these are in no particular order:

1. i gave up trying to keep nail polish off the skin surrounding my nails a long time ago.  don't judge me - staying inside the lines is hard!  anyway, when i paint my nails now, i just glop it on everywhere and once it dries i scrape/peel off the excess the next time i'm in the shower.  the main downside to this technique is if you paint your nails and then have to leave home *before* you have a chance to fix them. there have been more than a few times when i have realized this too late...

2. snickers are hands down the best candy in the whole world. sometimes, i just need a friggin snickers and there's nothing i can do about it other than go buy myself one right then and there.  reeses are a close 2nd, milky ways are pretty good, and twix are decent, but don't even TRY to substitute a snickers with a 3 musketeers. that's just offensive.

3. i know i didn't pick them, but i got stuck with one of the greatest families of all time.  from two phd-wielding, kick-ass, incredibly generous and supportive parents (example: i think, in my 15 years of playing soccer, they may have missed one game between the two of them...), to my similarly-phd'ed, ceaselessly awesome brother and sister (who also happened to have married two very awesome people) - i got very lucky!  and that's only counting my immediate family - the extended gang is pretty darn tootin awesome as well! (how many times can i use the word awesome? a few more? good...)

in a way, it sucks to be the baby in a family of overachievers (4 PhDs, are you people SERIOUS?!?!?), but mostly, it's been awesome to be the spoiled, gets-away-with-everything (love you, mom and dad! *bats eyelashes*), baby daughter/sister.

admittedly, each of them is their own unique brand of crazy (yes, mom, even you), but that's why they have me, ms. perfect, to balance them out.  you're welcome, guys!

4. caramel macchiatos are THE BEST.  they are cups filled with pure joy and wonder. ommm nommm nommmmmmm

5. one of my long-standing dreams is to write a novel, but the idea of putting pen to paper and then showing it to the world is pretty terrifying, so we'll see if i ever accomplish this.  or maybe i will and i just won't show it to anyone...  my #2 dream job would be a travel writer, mostly because of the travel part, but also because of the writing part.

6. i think i have an artist's soul trapped in a body with zero artistic talent. (see #1 above) pretty much the only "art" i make is affectionately called my squiggly drawings by my friends.  so, yeah... pretty sure "artist" is not a future career for me.

7. after 4 years of undergrad, nearly 6 years of working, and 2 years of grad school, i am officially addicted to coffee.  i am also a coffee snob. weak coffee is bad. bad coffee is bad, mediocre coffee is bad, and don't even get me started on those terrible fake-flavored creamers. they're the WORST.

8. i collect scarves when i travel.  they are useful, pretty, and they remind me of all the amazing places i have visited. the only downside is that i now own approximately 134,890 scarves...

9. i love my dog, but when she endangers herself (like when she hops out of the jeep and runs into the street to see where granger is), i want to KILL HER myself.  as soon as i know she's ok i get all sorts of rage-y in her general direction. stupid dog making me stupid worry by being a stupid stupid-head!

10. i don't know why, but i pretty much always feel guilty about something.  i feel guilty that i don't walk sadie often/long enough. i feel guilty that i don't apply for 4253 jobs every day.  i feel guilty that i don't work out more often.  i feel guilty when i eat unhealthy things.  (mom, don't read this next sentence) i feel guilty that i don't always walk to places that are within walking-ish distance (sometimes i drive *EGADS!!!!*).  i feel guilty that my apartment isn't always neat and tidy, that the laundry isn't always folded and put away, that the dishes aren't immediately washed.  i feel guilty that sometimes i don't want to go out, that sometimes i just want to be at home.  i feel guilty that i am not a go-getter and that i hate networking.  i feel guilty for not volunteering more.  the list goes on...

granger keeps telling me that i need to give myself a break or i'm going to fall apart, but then i just start feeling guilty for not giving myself a break...  sheesh!

11. the beach is my happy place.  it doesn't matter what's going on in my life, i leave all my cares behind when the sand starts and i can hear the beautiful sound of waves hitting the beach.  give me a beach and a good book (and some SPF 50) and nothing can bring me down.

12. i'm starting to get all teary-eyed when i watch those stupid HGTV shows about those stupid people who move to/live in stupid hawaii. i want to live in hawaii!!! why can't i live there, in *that* gorgeous house, on *that* beautiful beach??? (see #11) there are many other places in the world that i would LOVE to live, but no place can get me choked up like the prospect of living in hawaii can.  and yes, i know they're small islands, and i might get bored blah blah blah, but they pack a whole lot of incredible beauty into a small space, and i really don't think i'd ever get tired of living there or ever feel stuck there.  i think you'd have to drug me, kidnap me, and transport me back to the mainland to get me to leave!!

13. i'm starting to wonder when i'm going to reach that adult yeah-i-totally-know-what-i'm-doing-with-my-life stage.  or is this stage just a lie that adults tell their kids to fool them into thinking that someday they'll figure it all out and their path in life will be clear?  because that would be a mighty cruel joke...  or perhaps it's just that my immediate family members just have their sh*t figured out way better than most people so my life only seems up-in-the-air compared to them.  who knows.  either way, i'm still waiting for it to begin... 

*sits down and waits*

14. i hate being late to things.  i also hate rushing to get places in order to avoid being late to things.  but the only thing i hate more than those two things is arriving somewhere awkwardly early.  like, they're-still-setting-up early, or there's-only-one-other-person-there early.  these clashing hatreds lead me to leave early, arrive early, and then dawdle before actually entering.  i wonder how much of my life i have spent waiting just outside or walking around the block simply to avoid the awkwardness of going in too early.  oh the horror!!!

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i'll stop here for now - if i think of any others i'll just add them as they come to me...

F#*k cancer

cancer is stupid.