economics

oh economics... why must you be so difficult? the moment i think i begin to understand you, you turn around and make it so that i have no idea what's going on again. your confusing antics make me not want to study you! i don't understand... why do you taunt me so? but most importantly, why, oh why, are you so necessary for me to learn?

a lesson in brigit

life is complicated. understanding different situations, not to mention other people, is a daily challenge. to add to the mess, understanding ourselves can be just as challenging. even though we are privy to our inner-most thoughts and desires, we oftentimes have trouble understanding it all. and lord help us if we have to explain how we feel or why we feel the way we do! but sometimes something happens that turns on a light bulb inside your head, and suddenly you have a clearer picture of yourself, of how you are, of why you act the way you do. it doesn't have to be momentous, but odds are that it's at least useful.

i had a moment like that recently...

last week was somewhat rough for me. i don't want to go into detail about what happened, but i do want to point out something i learned about myself while dealing with it: apart from the absolute essentials - think shelter and food - having good friends (and a close family) is the most important thing in my life.

i know this doesn't seem like a break-through (duh! obviously people are important to me!), but in the context that i realized this, it was. as i mentioned before, i had a bad week last week. i talked with granger about it, but otherwise, i didn't feel the need to go to any of my friends to talk about what was going on. when i noticed how i felt, i thought about it, and i realized that i don't need to talk to people about how i'm feeling or what i'm thinking in order to feel better; the mere fact that i know i could talk to them if i needed to is all i need. if it makes any sense, just knowing that people are there for me is more important than them actually having to be there for me.

i've had to rely on people a few times in the past, and when i did, every single person came through for me when i needed them. i know that if i needed them for anything again, they would come through for me just as they did before. knowing this is all i need.

spring, occasionally

i woke up at 8:12 am today. technically speaking, i am supposed to be at work at 8:30 am; clearly, there was no way that i was going to be able to make it in by then, so i decided not to rush to get ready. if i was going to be late, i might as well embrace it. so i got up, got ready, put my things together, and leisurely headed out.

as i stepped outside, i was greeted by a beautiful, sunny morning. despite the fact that it's mid april, dangerously close to late april in fact, one can hardly argue that we have experienced much of that beloved dc spring weather yet. until today. this morning, the birds were so giddy that it was almost annoying to listen to them chirping away. violets are just starting to poke through the grass in front lawns, and you could smell spring in the air. why did i have to go to work? it seemed so unfair!

i've walked the same route nearly every day for much of my life. when i was little, my walk was to janney, then to deal, then wilson. after a four year hiatus in chicago, i am back, but now i walk to the metro to go to work instead of to school. i have a lot of memories of walking that walk, generally hurrying because i was late for something, only occasionally being able to take the time to appreciate my surroundings.

it turns out that i was only 20 minutes late to work, but, since my work hours are flexible, this was not a problem at all. so i got to sleep in a little bit, i got to avoid the usual rush-to-work chaos, and i got to appreciate one of the few truly beautiful days we've had in dc this year. not too bad for a friday morning.

leave the roses

i chose this as the title of my blog because, earlier today, i read a quote that i very much liked. it goes, 'if the bees have tasted the taste of your lips, they would have left the roses and came back to you.'

i couldn't tell you why that struck me, i guess, as un-poetic as it is to say, it just did. it's simple and sweet, and i imagine that the person who wrote or said it was very fond of the person about whom they spoke. since i, too, am very fond of all those who will read my blog, i thought it fitting.

anyway, welcome to my new blog. i hope you enjoy it...