life is complicated. understanding different situations, not to mention other people, is a daily challenge. to add to the mess, understanding ourselves can be just as challenging. even though we are privy to our inner-most thoughts and desires, we oftentimes have trouble understanding it all. and lord help us if we have to explain how we feel or why we feel the way we do! but sometimes something happens that turns on a light bulb inside your head, and suddenly you have a clearer picture of yourself, of how you are, of why you act the way you do. it doesn't have to be momentous, but odds are that it's at least useful.
i had a moment like that recently...
last week was somewhat rough for me. i don't want to go into detail about what happened, but i do want to point out something i learned about myself while dealing with it: apart from the absolute essentials - think shelter and food - having good friends (and a close family) is the most important thing in my life.
i know this doesn't seem like a break-through (duh! obviously people are important to me!), but in the context that i realized this, it was. as i mentioned before, i had a bad week last week. i talked with granger about it, but otherwise, i didn't feel the need to go to any of my friends to talk about what was going on. when i noticed how i felt, i thought about it, and i realized that i don't need to talk to people about how i'm feeling or what i'm thinking in order to feel better; the mere fact that i know i could talk to them if i needed to is all i need. if it makes any sense, just knowing that people are there for me is more important than them actually having to be there for me.
i've had to rely on people a few times in the past, and when i did, every single person came through for me when i needed them. i know that if i needed them for anything again, they would come through for me just as they did before. knowing this is all i need.
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